Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Pokemon and Poetry in High Park at High Noon

Pokemon and Poetry in High Park at High Noon
August 13th, 12 PM
High Park / 285 Colborne Lodge Dr, Toronto, Ontario

Bring your poetry to read and your smartphone.
Stop moaning about all the Pokeballs you've thrown.
Read your poetry whilst chilling in the shade.
Enjoy the free trade of ideas, like how poets are unpaid.
Drink something cold whilst catching yourself a Jigglypuff.
Wonder aloud if you truly have enough of the good stuff.
Laugh at the idiocy of Donald Trump quotes set to rhyme.
Send that cokehead to bed, this here is peacetime.
We will have poets and Pokemon players singing the blues.
In a world gone mad and Americans are asked to choose.
Between a Crooked Jynx and a Lyin' Psycho Hypno.
Bragging about his dough when he is likely high on blow.
So come out to High Park to enjoy rhythm and alliteration.
Catch some Pokemon while America goes down in damnation.

"They Love Me", featuring Donald Trump quotes

By Roy Wood Jr.

(Made using actual Donald Trump quotes.)

[Verse 1]
Can you believe Ted Cruz who been killing our country?
Lyin' Ted Cruz used a picture of Melania
Careful Lyin' Ted, I'll spill the beans on your woman
I be watching Modern Family, written by a moron
I never liked Bette Midler's persona (Told ya!)
I have black guys counting my money
The one who can beat Hillary, I'm not a Mitt Romney
Remember I'm the only candidate who's self-funding (Told ya!)
Make America great again
Fingers long and beautiful
Look at these hands
I win, I win, I always win
Some people would say I’m very, very, very intelligent
Mexico is not our friend
Build the wall
I love the Mexicans
Nobody has more respect for women
Heidi Klum sadly, no longer a 10 (Truth!)

Check me out, Democrats they love me
Check me out, these Muslims love me (They do!)
Stop hatin', these Women love me
These gays love me
Everybody love me (Told Ya!)
Check me out, Megyn Kelly she love me
Check me out, illegals they love me (You bet!)
What it do, these veterans love me
Protestors love me
Everybody love Me
360, what’s good?
Man, if Megyn Kelly stopped talking about me on her show, her ratings would drop like a rock!
I gotta go man, the beat about to drop

[Verse 2]
I have a great relationship with the blacks (The blacks!)
Politicians all talk and no action
I was down there at 7/11 (I was there)
Spent almost nothing on my run for president
All the women flirted with me on The Apprentice
If Ivanka weren't my daughter, then perhaps I'd be dating her
We have to have a wall
Don, who’s doing the raping?
We have to have a wall
Don, who’s doing the raping?

Check me out, Democrats they love me
Check me out, these Muslims love me (Oh yeah!)
Stop hatin', these Women love me
These gays love me
Everybody love me (Told Ya!)
Check me out, Megyn Kelly she love me (Love me!)
Check me out, illegals they love me (Love me!)
What it do, these veterans love me
Protestors love me
Everybody love Me (Told Ya!)

I'm so good looking
I'm really rich
Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich
Don't respect women...they know it's the opposite!
Arianna Huffington is unattractive
Happy Easter to all
I've never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke

(Trump's actual net-worth is only $150 million. Tops.
Trump "misunderestimates" his actual wealth.)

Monday, May 30, 2016

Fridge Poetry by Charles Moffat

By Charles Moffat

Way too easy to make fridge magnet poetry. But they are surprisingly funny at times.

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Poetry in a Pub, January 28th at the Artful Dodger

Hello Toronto Poets!

This Thursday's "Poetry in a Pub" meeting will be in the upstairs section of the Artful Dodger.

People wishing to RSVP should do so immediately. If you are not sure you can attend, please do not RSVP so we can avoid "false RSVPs" from confusing how many people we are expecting.

To RSVP go to http://www.meetup.com/torontopoetryclub/events/225677942/

At present 25 people have RSVPed. Hope to see you all there!

Bring your poetry and your appetite for good food and good poetry!

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Spooky Poetry Night - 2nd Annual

Toronto's 2nd Annual Spooky Poetry Night is only a week away!

RSVP by visiting the Toronto Poetry Club on Meetup.com. Tis the best night of the year to share spooky poetry!

Note - Your poetry does not actually have to be Halloween themed, but it is encouraged. Feel free to bring whatever poetry you wish to share.

Thursday, August 27, 2015

Toronto Poetry Picnic, Third Poetry Picnic

Come to the Toronto Poetry Club Picnic by RSVPing at http://www.meetup.com/torontopoetryclub/events/223350519/

Thursday, August 27, 2015

6:30 PM

High Park

1873 Bloor Street West, Toronto, ON

Picnic Tables South East of the Swimming Pool, see photos in the photo section on Meetup.com so you know where it is precisely on the map. Or just scroll below and see the photos below.

This is actually our 3rd poetry picnic so far. The first was also held in High Park and the second was held at harbour front, near the Jack Layton Ferry Terminal.

Bring food, drinks and poetry!

Share your poetry and get feedback (feedback is optional) from your fellow Toronto poets.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Poetry Event Organizers Wanted

At present the Toronto Poetry Club is having 1 or 2 events per month, but we could be having more if we had more people volunteering as organizers.

Are you bossy and like being in charge? Can you find a location where 20 or so poets can meet and discuss poetry? Can you be on time or early for each meeting? Can you keep track of time so the meetup doesn't go overtime (poets have an attention span of roughly 2 hours)?

Well then you could be an Event Organizer for the Toronto Poetry Club. Contact [email protected] to learn more details.

In other news: 400 poets!

As of last night the Toronto Poetry Club Meetup group now has over 400 poets.

Want to come to one of our meetups? RSVP on meetup.com/torontopoetryclub/

The photos below are from one of the February Poetry Meetups, which included live music from a local Toronto songwriter.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

Meetup.com raises prices, Poetry Club sponsors welcome

Meetup.com has decided to raise their prices. Here is a copy of part of the email which was sent to the Toronto Poetry Club organizer:

"In 2015, Meetup will be introducing new pricing plans for all Meetup groups.

Under our new plans, smaller groups will pay a little less (Basic plan) and larger groups will pay a little more (Unlimited). Since you organize a larger Meetup, you will be on the Unlimited plan.

Beginning February 17, 2015, your new price will be $14.99 per month, billed every 6 months at $89.94.

We've always done everything we can to keep Organizer Dues fair and affordable for organizers everywhere. Your current Meetup price of $12 per month was set in place almost 10 years ago and hasn't changed until now. With the new pricing plans, we hope to help more Meetups start near you so you can attract more members who might be right for your group."

So basically the upkeep of the Toronto Poetry Club's meetup page will be roughly $180 USD / year going forward. Fortunately the club has been getting new sponsors on a regular basis so I don't think we are in any kind of dire financial condition.

The sponsors shown in the image on the right are: "How Do I Love Thee?", a theatre production about two poets getting married, Rawlicious, a raw vegan restaurant in High Park North, and 7 West (who was made a honourary sponsor because they have been letting us use space at their pub/cafe for poetry meetups). To see the complete list of current sponsors see the Toronto Poetry Club page on Meetup.com.

Originally the Toronto Poetry Club was started by Stephen Miniotis, so he deserves the credit as the first founder of the club. That version of the club however was deleted by Meetup.com in December 2013 when Stephen lost interest in maintaining the club and failed to renew the club.

The club was then refounded by Charles Moffat in March 2014, who instituted a donations policy for club members attending meetups.

The donations policy means several things.

#1. If you join the club but forget to ever attend a meetup, you don't pay a cent.

#2. For those attending meetups you donate as much as see fit, regardless of whether it is a few spare nickles or $20. Or nothing. Nobody is forcing you to donate. Some people have even donated TTC tokens, which Moffat has recorded as their cash value.

#3. Every cent collected from donations is recorded and listed on the Toronto Poetry Club's finances, along with all expenditures and also sponsorship donations.

Sponsoring the Toronto Poetry Club is a mere $25 so if you run a local Toronto business that you feel would benefit from advertising we welcome your support of the Toronto Poetry Club.

To see the complete list of expenditures and contributions see the Toronto Poetry Club finances page on Meetup.com.

The graphic on the right does not include the upcoming $89.94 which will be due on or before March 27th 2015.

At present the Toronto Poetry Club is in good financial condition and this will hopefully continue thanks to the donations of members and our sponsors.

Friday, February 6, 2015

Three Upcoming Poetry Meetups in Toronto

We are having three poetry meetups during February 2015 for people to attend.

February 12th Pre-Valentine's Day Poetry Meetup

The Ontario Poetry Society / Valentine Poetry

February 26th Poetry Meetup

So no shortage of events for Toronto Poets to attend before or after Valentines!

And for fun, love songs from the 1980s. Listening to music may help inspire some of you poets out there who suffer from writer's block.

Thursday, January 22, 2015

January 29th Poetry Club Meeting @ 7 West

The January 29th 2015 Poetry Club Meeting will take place at:

7 West
Located at 7 Charles West, just off Yonge Street, south of Yonge and Bloor, 7 West is a mixture of restaurant, cafe and pub - so you can have beer, wine, tea, coffee, cake, pie, a hamburger or anything else that is on the menu.

We will be meeting on the 3rd floor.

7 PM

Please RSVP at http://www.meetup.com/torontopoetryclub/events/218044192/

The decor and the food/drinks/service at 7 West are all excellent so we are certain to have a good time eating, drinking and spilling forth poetry.

Hope to see you there!

Killer Economy

We live in an era of fascist capitalism
Stock brokers with killer instincts
Politicians in on the grand Ponzi Scheme
Wars for oil, consumption and waste
An indebted populace enslaved
Capitalists running amok looking for the bottom line
The problem is when people can't pay their debts
They start reneging on their loans and mortgages
And then the economy falls apart
This is a model that can't stand the test of time
We can try and extort wealth from other nations
But wars are expensive and its only profitable on paper
In reality we lose way more in practice
The politicians keep saying wealth will trickle down
But such a hoax will never happen
The system is set up so the rich get richer
The poor get poorer, and the middle class dwindles
Eventually all that will remain is the rich and the poor
The poor will try to rise up, but the police will beat them down
Oh wait, this is already happening
You would have to be blind not to see it
Our materialism has become our own downfall
And death has become a vital part of our economy

Charles Moffat's poetry is also available on Kobo: a dream of unfettered roses

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Raw Vegan Restaurant sponsors the Toronto Poetry Club

The Toronto raw vegan restaurant Rawlicious, located in the Vegan Village (Roncesvalles/High Park North area) is sponsoring the Toronto Poetry Club.

The reasoning is likely because vegans like poetry, and poets are statistically more likely to be vegans. So huzzah for the vegan poets out there in Toronto!

Maybe some day in the future we will even host a Toronto Poetry Club event at Rawlicious.

And because this post would be lonely without some poetry, here is some poetry graphics to help provoke some thought.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

White Christmas (Global Warming Version)

White Christmas (Global Warming Version)

By Charles Moffat, December 2014

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
Just like the ones we used to know
When the treetops glistened
and governments listened
Back when we used to have snow.

They're scheming of a profitable Christmas
When every politician sounds trite
They give you an economic fright
And most of the CEOs are white.

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
Before the droughts brought the blight
May your kids live to see the light
And learn from our lack of foresight

I'm steaming at the green Christmas
As the earth goes down the latrine
When everyone is so greedy its obscene
And now all our Christmases are green.

I'm dreaming of a White Christmas
Back when leaders were more forthright
And now they're all full of shite.
And now all our Christmases aren't white.

Charles Moffat's poetry is also available on Kobo: a dream of unfettered roses

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Map Room at Hart House

The Map Room at Hart House is where the Toronto Poetry Club meets.

However we have noticed sometimes people walk by the map room looking lost, look in, say nothing and then keep walking.

It makes some of us wonder if they are lost poets, unsure if they are in the right room.

So here is some photos of the Map Room so you have a clearer idea of where you are supposed to be.

Note, it is not the 'Maps Room'. The Map Room only has 1 map in it. The big one on the east wall. So if you were expecting many maps and continue walking and looking for the 'Maps Room' you will be disappointed.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Expecting a Record Turnout at the Toronto Poetry Club

Tonight we are expecting a record turnout for the Toronto Poetry Club meeting. 26 people have signed up for the November 26th Poetry Meetup.

The only meetup that came close to those numbers was the August 28th Poetry Meetup which had 25 people sign up.

When attending these meetings typically only one half or two thirds of people show up. One time I think we had roughly 80% attendance. I think it is an issue wherein sometimes people sign up for poetry meetups and then forget to go the day of, maybe they were sick, had other plans, or sometimes it is just weather conditions (rain or extreme cold tends to scare people away from wanting to go outside and travel to a poetry meetup).

The good news however is that today is not overly cold and the weather is fair. Plus it is November and people often have nothing better to do in November, so I fully expect this meetup to be a bumper crop of poets.

I like to think however that the diehard poets (yippee ki yay m***** ******!) won't be deterred by a little rain (or even a lot of rain).

Come rain, come sleet, come snow - let the poets bring their best to the show.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

De Stove Pipe Hole, by William Henry Drummond

During the 2014 Halloween Spooky Poetry Night event one of the poems that was discussed/performed was "De Stove Pope Hole" by William Henry Drummond, due because a different poem was read that reminded the poetry club president of the poem and it was decided it should performed to satisfy the curiousity of the fellow poets who had never heard of this particular poem before.

William Henry Drummond (born 1854, died 1907) was an Irish born Canadian poet famous for writing "dialect verse" and funny stories.

De Stove Pope Hole
By William Henry Drummond

Dat's very cole an' stormy night on Village St. Mathieu,
W'en ev'ry wan he's go couché, an' dog was quiet, too--
Young Dominique is start heem out see Emmeline Gourdon,
Was leevin' on her fader's place, Maxime de Forgeron.

Poor Dominique he's lak dat girl, an' love her mos' de tam,
An' she was mak' de promise--sure--some day she be his famme,
But she have worse ole fader dat's never on de worl',
Was swear onless he's riche lak diable, no feller's get hees girl.

He's mak' it plaintee fuss about hees daughter Emmeline,
Dat's mebbe nice girl, too, but den, Mon Dieu, she's not de queen!
An' w'en de young man's come aroun' for spark it on de door,
An' hear de ole man swear 'Bapteme!' he's never come no more.

Young Dominique he's sam' de res',--was scare for ole Maxime,
He don't lak risk hese'f too moche for chances seein' heem,
Dat's only stormy night he come, so dark you cannot see,
An dat's de reason w'y also, he's climb de gallerie.

De girl she's waitin' dere for heem--don't care about de rain,
So glad for see young Dominique he's comin' back again,
Dey bote forget de ole Maxime, an' mak de embrasser
An affer dey was finish dat, poor Dominique is say--

'Good-bye, dear Emmeline, good-bye; I'm goin' very soon,
For you I got no better chance, dan feller on de moon--
It's all de fault your fader, too, dat I be go away,
He's got no use for me at all--I see dat ev'ry day.

'He's never meet me on de road but he is say 'Sapré!'
An' if he ketch me on de house I'm scare he's killin' me,
So I mus' lef' ole St. Mathieu, for work on 'noder place,
An' till I mak de beeg for-tune, you never see ma face.'

Den Emmeline say 'Dominique, ma love you'll alway be
An' if you kiss me two, t'ree tam I'll not tole noboddy--
But prenez garde ma fader, please, I know he's gettin ole--
All sam' he offen walk de house upon de stockin' sole.

'Good-bye, good-bye, cher Dominique! I know you will be true,
I don't want no riche feller me, ma heart she go wit' you.'
Dat's very quick he's kiss her den, before de fader come,
But don't get too moche pleasurement--so 'fraid de ole Bonhomme.

Wall! jus' about dey're half way t'roo wit all dat love beez-nesse
Emmeline say, 'Dominique, w'at for you're scare lak all de res?
Don't see mese'f moche danger now de ole man come aroun','
W'en minute affer dat, dere's noise, lak' house she's fallin' down.

Den Emmeline she holler 'Fire! will no wan come for me?'
An Dominique is jomp so high, near bus' de gallerie,--
'Help! help! right off,' somebody shout, 'I'm killin' on ma place,
It's all de fault ma daughter, too, dat girl she's ma disgrace.'

He's kip it up long tam lak dat, but not hard tellin' now,
W'at's all de noise upon de house--who's kick heem up de row?
It seem Bonhomme was sneak aroun' upon de stockin' sole,
An' firs' t'ing den de ole man walk right t'roo de stove pipe hole.

W'en Dominique is see heem dere, wit' wan leg hang below,
An' 'noder leg straight out above, he's glad for ketch heem so--
De ole man can't do not'ing, den, but swear and ax for w'y
Noboddy tak' heem out dat hole before he's comin' die.

Den Dominique he spik lak dis, 'Mon cher M'sieur Gourdon
I'm not riche city feller, me, I'm only habitant,
But I was love more I can tole your daughter Emmeline,
An' if I marry on dat girl, Bagosh! she's lak de Queen.

'I want you mak de promise now, before it's come too late,
An' I mus' tole you dis also, dere's not moche tam for wait.
Your foot she's hangin' down so low, I'm 'fraid she ketch de cole,
Wall! if you give me Emmeline, I pull you out de hole.'

Dat mak' de ole man swear more hard he never swear before,
An' wit' de foot he's got above, he's kick it on de floor,
'Non, non,' he say 'Sapré tonnerre! she never marry you,
An' if you don't look out you get de jail on St. Mathieu.'

'Correc',' young Dominique is say, 'mebbe de jail's tight place,
But you got wan small corner, too, I see it on de face,
So if you don't lak geev de girl on wan poor habitant,
Dat's be mese'f, I say, Bonsoir, mon cher M'sieur Gourdon.'

'Come back, come back,' Maxime is shout--I promise you de girl,
I never see no wan lak you--no never on de worl'!
It's not de nice trick you was play on man dat's gettin' ole,
But do jus' w'at you lak, so long you pull me out de hole.'

'Hooraw! Hooraw!' Den Dominique is pull heem out tout suite
An' Emmeline she's helpin' too for place heem on de feet,
An' affer dat de ole man's tak' de young peep down de stair,
W'ere he is go couchè right off, an' dey go on parloir.

Nex' Sunday morning dey was call by M'sieur le Curé
Get marry soon, an' ole Maxime geev Emmeline away;
Den affer dat dey settle down lak habitant is do,
An' have de mos' fine familee on Village St. Mathieu.

Friday, October 3, 2014

Thursday, October 2, 2014

Sylvia Plath

Sylvia Plath

Herein lies Sylvia Plath's Guide
To becoming a Famous Poet via Suicide

Step one, marry a male poet who is already successful
His success continues to grow and he makes sales by the bucketful

You and he argue constantly about his success and fame
And meanwhile you've stopped writing, so where is your claim?

Finally he leaves you and you are all alone with your thinking
You publish a book while your husband is out partying and drinking

Your book is selling, you are the belle of the ball
And then one day you decide to end it all

You sealed the doors with wet towels and stuck your head in the oven
They found you dead, thirty years old...

A beautiful poet with everything to live for...
They publish your book posthumously, but what was the point?

Oh yes, fame. Some things are not worth dying for.

February 2012, poetry.charlesmoffat.com

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Gossamer Lies

Gossamer Lies
Years ago on one fatal october 
A doctor commited suicide 
With an injection to his arm 
He broke my friend 
Messed up her mind 
She is lost now 
On a sea of guilt 
Haunted by fear and hatred 
She waits 
She waits 
Nothing happens 
She doesn't want to be hurt 
But her vices hold her 
They control her 
She is trapped 
In a cage of her own making 
With only her father to blame
See more at poetry.charlesmoffat.com

Thursday, July 10, 2014

July 31st Poetry Meetup

RSVP for the next Toronto Poetry Club meeting on July 31st by visiting our Meetup page:


Poetry meetings are on the last Thursday of every month, starting at 6:30 PM.

Location is the Map Room at Hart House (University of Toronto campus).

Everyone is welcome, even if you are not a member and do not RSVP. Although we certainly prefer if you do RSVP so we have an inkling of how many people are coming.